madsciences:

doom-exe:

madsciences:

onewingandabrokenhalo:

madsciences:

kilbaro:

JESUS?? 

JESUS????

i had no idea they were so frickin huge

I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them

Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?

Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens

Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.

So basically the only reason natural selection hasn’t taken care if them is because they are the most useless fish

yes, they’ve perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable

a true inspiration

Why Artemis Fowl Fans Are Angry

artemistheartist:

Butler at the end of the third book, confronting Arno Blunt:

about the artemis fowl cast

polyglotplatypus:

hey listen,,,, i was already mad enough that they whitewashed the characters in the graphic novel adaptation, but now theyre carrying it on to the movie? come on guys the books put an emphasis on how holly has brown skin, why u gotta take that away… also as much as i want to see male roles being made into female roles, not only is it incoherent to make root a woman since holly is supposed to be the first woman in the LEPrecons, but furthermore, the entire struggle she had with root is that she thought for the longest time he was hard on her out of sheer misogyny, like, that’s a big plot point, why change root when you can just bring vinyaya forward, theres a canon badass lady i wanna see on screen. i dont know how to feel about butler being black, he was eurasian in the novels and that seemed to be an important part of his background, but hey, that’s still better than him being white i guess

lars-and-sadie-doyle:

I have never seen a less accurate description of Artemis Fowl II. He is a moody self-important depressed snob like all the rest of us tyvm

lordzuuko:

“Artemis Fowl” would be such an amazing movie? Like it starts off with a voice over going all…

How does one describe Artemis Fowl? Various psychiatrists have tried and failed… 

And we see a rich boy wearing an expensive suit sitting by fire… we can’t see his face–just his back with that fancy Victorian chair of his. And he’s staring at his piles of GOLD. The voice over continues…

There is no doubt that Artemis is a child prodigy.  But why does someone of such brilliance dedicate himself to criminal activities? 

The boy stands up but we still can’t see his face. He walks towards the screen and the cam backs away and then suddenly the boy is trying to close the door. 

This is a question that can be answered by only one person.

And then the view goes upward and we finally see his pale face and he’s smiling deviously with his finger on his lips as if to say “Hush.”

And he delights in not talking.

The boy closes the door entirely and then it shows “Artemis Fowl” in friggin GOLD because that’s what the movie is all about. G O L D. And then it gives the audience the chills.

mentosmorii:

Butler is basically the most emotionally healthy character in af?? He’s constantly narrating how he needs to process his emotions in situations and how his bonds with his friends affect him. Meanwhile there’s also artemis “if I throw myself into work and toil to the point of physical exhaustion I can avoid thinking abt my problems” fowl and holly “I use violence and morbid humour to avoid deepening my friendships with anyone and risking loosing another person who is dear to me” short?

duh-arvit:

“Holly will be played by a 13 year old white girl!”

“Commander Root is a woman!”

“Our one black actor is in the servant role!”

interstellarvagabond:

I love that Artemis Fowl’s response to “You have a girls name loser” is “yeah she’s a powerful goddess of the hunt and I’ve earned her name bitch” cause homeboy don’t have time for anything even remotely sexist and transphobic

littlehobbit13:

Me: *has been burned before by ruined movie adaptations of favorite YA book series*

Disney: *releases casting of Artemis Fowl with questionable choices in key roles*

Me: …